The Feature · Longevity
Longevity Is Not Something You Buy
The night before my keynote in Barcelona, I should have been rehearsing. I had been, for days. I had made myself a little crazy over it.
Instead, I walked. Eight hours, through a city I had not seen in ten years, from the harbor all the way to the Sagrada Familia. Some streets were exciting. Some alleys were a little scary, and I peeked down them anyway.
It exhilarated me. It freed me. I believe it added something to my life that day.
The best part was who I shared it with
There is someone in my life who wanted so badly to be in Barcelona with me. We have traveled together before, and I felt their absence that night. So I called. I sat under the stars for an hour on FaceTime, with the festival going on around La Sagrada Familia, the music, the crowds, the whole city awake, and I took them with me. We talked and laughed and soaked it in together.
It was just a phone, and it moved me. Not because of the technology, but because I have people I can turn to in a moment like that, and because I make room for them. Not only on FaceTime. I mean stopping, putting everything down, and breathing someone in.
I think about my daughter the same way. We talk every day. It does not matter what is happening. If I am in the middle of a meeting, I find the quickest way out and take thirty minutes with her on the phone. I plan for it in my week the way I plan for anything I would never cancel. It is not a favor to her. It is one of the ways I take care of myself.
The people you make time for may be doing more for your health than anything you can order.
What is actually going on in longevity right now
Everyone is jumping on the longevity bandwagon. There are good actors and there are bad actors, and I believe most of them mean well. The science is real, and I am glad it is advancing. I do the scans too.
But the story we are being told is getting narrow. It is a story about data, protocols, and products, and it quietly leaves out the person living the life. So it is fair to ask: what is longevity, really?
To me, it is balance. It is building a life you want to stay in. You take care of yourself, your body and your mind, because it feels good, not because a number told you to. You exercise. You pay attention. And because you pay attention, you are early to things, including health concerns, instead of finding out late.
Four things I would not leave off the list
Stress, and what you do with it. Stress is one of the quiet drivers of how we age, and most of us carry far more than we admit. The real question is what you do to put it down. For me it was eight hours of walking. For you it might be something else entirely.
New things. Exploring, learning, challenging your brain. Barcelona was not a workout plan. It was curiosity. We are built to keep growing, and I suspect we are healthier when we do.
People. The Harvard Study of Adult Development has followed participants for more than 80 years. One of its best known findings is that how satisfied people were in their close relationships at 50 predicted their health at 80 better than their cholesterol did. It is an observational study, so these are associations, not guarantees. They are still hard to ignore.
Giving. Research on older adults has linked volunteering motivated by helping others with lower mortality, while volunteering motivated by self-interest showed no such link (Konrath and colleagues, Health Psychology, 2012). Again, an association. But it matches what I see in people who seem to age well: they are pointed outward.
The shopping list is not the problem. Having nothing else on it is.
The scan, the coach, the supplements. I do those things. But I think we reach for what we can buy because we do not feel we have time for what actually fills us up: the friend who makes you laugh, learning something new, giving to something bigger than yourself, standing in front of something so big you forget what you were carrying.
That is what we are building with Privé by Peak. Yes, we will help you find the right doctor. We also want to help you find the time.
For you and your family
Five questions for this week
- Who is the person you would call from the most beautiful place you have ever stood? When did you last do it?
- What recurring call or visit would you protect even in the middle of a meeting?
- When did you last learn something new that scared you a little?
- What are you giving to that is bigger than you?
- When was the last time you felt completely free?
Sources: Harvard Gazette on the Harvard Study of Adult Development; Konrath S, Fuhrel-Forbis A, Lou A, Brown S. Motives for volunteering are associated with mortality risk in older adults. Health Psychology, 2012. This piece shares one person's perspective and is not medical advice. Privé by Peak does not diagnose or treat. Talk with your own physician about your health.